I'm happy..... really happy... dispite all the questions and concerns of others... dispite what I think I should be feeling or tell myself I should be feeling... I'm happy..... it's nice to feel this way again....

jaded imperfect perception

JESUS SAVE ME
from myself
For even I am not sure
of what I'm capable of
In my own sin
I am jaded
by the imperfect perception
of who it is
that I am
My standards
are only ever focused on
external gain
My carnal desires
Are a putrid stench in Your nostrils
Yet, the only smell that I let capture my senses
is the smell of my expensive perfume.

I'm delicate

My heart is fragile

please put it back down

regardless of how strong it's walls look

how tough and controlled it's exterior

I put on a good show

Don't do those things

and expect me not to question

maybe for awhile

I'll turn my head away

maybe for awhile

I'll play your game

But that's only me trying to lie to myself

So please,

you can't handle all that's in there

all those walls are up for a reason

Just put it down gentley

and walk away

incoherent made coherent...well...maybe

I've been sitting for day's attempting to put together a series of incoherent thoughts that I can't even begin to articulate to myself let alone the rest of the world. It's been a long week. I'm so far behind in school, I'm drowning, and as I attempt to produce paper after paper I have been lost in the reason as to why I'm even here. Well...maybe not lost....just misplaced it? Ok...maybe I've shoved it into a closet with no intention of pulling it out anytime soon.

You know what I love most? When you feel so dang far from God....but yet you aren't cuz you can see His hand in EVERY aspect of your life. Soooooo much has happened this past week. I've been pushed to re-evaluate the things that I believe. I've been tested and challenged in my abilities to open up and share the contents of this dark and lonely heart. I've had to reveal pieces of me that I never thought that I would be able to. I swear I was suppose to be harmed but was saved from that....

There has just been moment after moment of God's hand intervening and pruning, His sculpting and refining. I've found passion's that He's given to me and I've never really cared to explore them as options before. The most important thing that He's done has been making me understand who "Sasha" is in the context of His Grace and Love...and how that no matter how unwise the decisions are that I make...and how much I stumble and fall He is there holding my hand waiting until I want to get back up and give it another shot.

So you know what....my grades might crap out this semester....and I might be so far behind I feel as though I'm drowning in a sea of papers....and I might not "feel" as though God is here....but i know that He is....I just have to look around and inside to see what He's doing.




"I was with you in that valley...and up upon that hill, so take just one more step infront of you for I am with you from step to step...you're not alone." ~NEEDTOBREATHE

Poor Baby Hippo

This is such a girly story but I shall tell it. The roomy's and I were watching TV tonight and I was in charge of the remote. We stumbled upon this show on Animal Planet about hippo's and I stopped to watch it. Steph....my roomy...loves the movie March of the Penguines so in hopes of trying to convince her that penguines are dumb I made her watch the hippos. Just then this cute baby hippo was shown on the screen HE WAS SOOOO cute...all of us girls were AWWWWWing... and everything it totally caught our complete attention. So we're watching this little gaffer swim and play with his mommy...adorable right.... well all of a sudden this other hippo comes and chomps down on our baby and attempts to kill it!! Well by this point I've got the whole house of girls screaming at me in sheer horror over this dying baby hippo....and then it did actually die ....and I swear Alicia cried. All I have to say is that I will stick to The March of the Penguines and never venture to Animal Planet again....



hippo prey
by:philip stockley