Lately I've been thinking a lot about my future. Often thoughts end up concentrating on my purpose and the paths that I'm on.
Evaluating where I currently am and where I want to be is an interesting feat that changes from day to day. Some days I'm content and proud of my accomplishements. Others I'm annoyed and frustrated and feel as though I've hit a stagnant hill and have approached it with a slow climb.
I've been considering a lot more school. The idea of different professions has popped in there a couple times as well. The other night while traveling to work I was stuck with the question of what I'm really truely good at and what I'm passionate about. Those words get thrown around a lot these days, but I like to do a check every now and then to see where it is I'm at with myself.
I love what I do. Clearly it's not for the money. I always knew that no matter what I ended up doing with my life would never be because of money. I care about people. That's at the bottom of who I am. When it comes to talents and giftings however, I feel inadequate. I feel like I have no practical expertise that I can offer. I deducted my skills down to one thing: being able to love. If all I have is love is it enough?
I never trained in a vocation that lead to practical skills. My psychology courses taught me a lot about the brain and the counselling ones aided in my ability to listen and paraphrase, maybe those are critical skills that I take for granted but when I look around there are people who are physically able to help others in need. Some of my friends are nurses and I'm jealous of their ability to identify and fix problems. Even if I had a trade of some sort I would feel like I had something to offer to people, but no, all I feel that I'm left with is the ability to love unconditionally and whole heartedly.
Don't get me wrong. In the business I'm in I guess this comes in handy, but can I really see myself doing this for the rest of my life? It gets so exhausting, especially to be giving out so much of myself all of the time to the various relationships around me and I don't see much in return. It weighs a person down sometimes. I often have to keep myself focused on the goal because without that I think that I'm a mess.
At the end of the day I still sit wondering if all I have is love is it enough? I really don't know.
