It's funny how one goes to minister and then becomes ministered to. God did such an amazing work in my heart this weekend. He rekindled the love that I once had for Him. He reminded me of how I use to be when I first fell in love with Him... the passion that once filled my heart... the PASSION... the exhuberance.... the unending joy. I met my Jesus again by the Cross.... He came and met me where I was at.... no matter how unworthy....how stained I am... He met me there... and all He could tell me of was His love for me. He reminded me of my calling and the things that He has in store. He showed me things in my future that I have to hold onto...cling to... and fight for. My Daddy wrapped His arms around me and told me that it's ok for me to be who I am. It's ok to struggle with this calling because He has set me apart.... and I cried.... I don't want this calling...but it's not about what I want or desire because when I'm in love with Him His desires are my desires.

I fell in love with my Jesus again this weekend... I surrendered to Him all the crap in my life and He came...and took it.... and showed me nothing but Love and Grace.

So... for those of you who don't know... this is me and my boy.... yes... my boyfriend.... Josh.. it's the worse picture imaginable... but it's us... therefore it's grande. I just thought that it was due time to post something about him... so.... here it is... it's been a short time but feels like forever......

So this is my family... we've been around each other 24/7 for the past 2 1/2 months but we all still love each other and I am continuoulsy blessed by each of them..... so these are my girls..... my sisters.

I Will Overcome - Charlie Hall

And I can see that my hands are trembling,

I can see that my legs are weak

I can see that my head is spinning, but I will overcome

And I know that my heart is hurting,

And I know that my soul it aches

And I know that it seems I'm failing, but I will overcome, yeah

Chorus: O Lord I'm strong in You,

O Lord I am wise in You

O Lord I can see in You, so I will overcome

O Lord I'm loved by You, O Lord I am free in you

O Lord I'm complete in You

So I will overcome, I will overcome, I will overcome

Bridge: God listen to me shout,

I'm so far from anywhere and I'm calling out

Lead me, lead me to the rock that is higher than I

You're my breath, You're my breath, You're my very life

Infinite, Holy King meets weak and frail Christ in me

And I will overcome not by my strength but by Your grace and love

This past week has been crazy. I don't like the up down roller coaster type ride it feels like I've been on this semester... but at the same time....I can see God's hand through it all... through all the bitterness... through me wanting to quit... through the joy and through the happiness... He's been there all along. I've been soo blessed by all the people I have around me. To be able to recognize the fact that people care...and want to help is a huge step in my life. It's been hard for me to open up and trust people... but slowly and surely... it's happening... only with the help of God though.

He's been teaching me that I'm ok the way that I am... He wants nothing more then my heart and He will transform it from there. I don't have to be the top of the class or have connections or be the best speaker or whatever else I've been worried about... He just wants me. ME... all of me. All of my worries....all of my cares.... my desires and dreams. You think I woulda figured this out a long time ago... but I think sometimes we just need to be reminded that His purposes are far greater then anything we could ever want for ourselves.

I have such a peace in my heart.... it's like what Connie and I were talking about last night... it's like I'm playing in a pool of water and trying to make ripples but as soon as I put my foot down there's nothing...it's just all calm. I dont know if you understand that.... but we both sure did.... it's a peace that I don't understand or comprehend... but a peace that goes way deep down... and assures me that these steps... the little one's I've been taking are right... and that it's ok... it's hard... but it's ok.... and I've had to determine that it is most definitly worth it.....

Eh Bys! I was screeched in this weekend and made an honourary Newfie! My roommate Alicia/Bernice/ Beatrice/The other one made me the certificate!

It's been a fun and relaxing weekend... no homework was done but it's been good and I've watched Over the Hedge twice and am on to the third time... ha ha... yes I have homework and yes I am going to die if I dont do it... but motivation is gone!