This past week has been crazy. I don't like the up down roller coaster type ride it feels like I've been on this semester... but at the same time....I can see God's hand through it all... through all the bitterness... through me wanting to quit... through the joy and through the happiness... He's been there all along. I've been soo blessed by all the people I have around me. To be able to recognize the fact that people care...and want to help is a huge step in my life. It's been hard for me to open up and trust people... but slowly and surely... it's happening... only with the help of God though.
He's been teaching me that I'm ok the way that I am... He wants nothing more then my heart and He will transform it from there. I don't have to be the top of the class or have connections or be the best speaker or whatever else I've been worried about... He just wants me. ME... all of me. All of my worries....all of my cares.... my desires and dreams. You think I woulda figured this out a long time ago... but I think sometimes we just need to be reminded that His purposes are far greater then anything we could ever want for ourselves.
I have such a peace in my heart.... it's like what Connie and I were talking about last night... it's like I'm playing in a pool of water and trying to make ripples but as soon as I put my foot down there's nothing...it's just all calm. I dont know if you understand that.... but we both sure did.... it's a peace that I don't understand or comprehend... but a peace that goes way deep down... and assures me that these steps... the little one's I've been taking are right... and that it's ok... it's hard... but it's ok.... and I've had to determine that it is most definitly worth it.....
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