I'm frustrated with the fact that everybody else seems to know what's best for my life but I can't even figure it out. "Sasha you should be with this boy" "dont pass up this opportunity" I'm tired......and don't know what to do....and then they ask the next questiont that drives me crazy "are you sure you are praying about it?" What do they think I'm doing??? ERRRR I just wish that I can make a decision.

I don't even know what's really in my heart. I know that I'm scared....I don't want to be hurt....or vulnerable....vulnerability is the thing that scares me the most....and it should!!!! I have only ever been proven right...to open up that door seems almost impossible. And it hurts.... I just wish I knew what God wanted....what I am called to be and who I'm called to be with....that would make my life so much simpler right now.... I guess I just need to take the focus off of me and place it on Him...in His heart is where I will find answers....I hope

I'm struggling with the idea of being authentically transparent. Being real with how one is feeling and to show others the deepest and darkest secrets is the hardest thing in the world to do. As a pastor-in-training I struggle with this. How can I ask other's to be the thing that I can't even do myself? I have created a facade, a mask, something that makes me look one way when really I'm angry and bitter inside.

I want to be the same on the inside as I am on the outside....what you see is what you get.....I think that the only place where that is attainable is when your identity is fully founded in who God has created us to be....it is not an easy task but I am determined to search after it.