I sat and talked with a troubled soul who said that when he looked in the mirror he didn't see himself anymore.   Coincidentally, as I looked at him I saw myself. 

Nothing

There’s nothing left to say
There’s nothing left to lose
There’s nothing left to hold
There’s nothing left to choose

I’m done fighting this great fight
I’m done singing this great song
There’s nothing left to be
But being very wrong

There’s nothing left for time
There’s nothing left for me
There’s nothing left for us
There’s nothing left to see

I’m done hanging onto hope
I’m done crying all these tears
There’s nothing left for us
But a bunch of wasted years. 

Eff you John Mayer, Jack Johnson, Jason Mraz and every other song that keeps playing reminding me of you.  Just eff off ok?

It's 2am.  I'm sitting here listening to new Hawksley, eating snap peas, and drinking coffee such a weird yet fulfilling combination.  It's back to working nights for me.  Five this week.  It's funny when people say the nights are long, because when you work them they sure in the heck are.  Being stuck in my mind a lot of the time doesn't do me any good.  I keep thinking about a conversation my sister and I had.  She thinks she knows.  She thinks that it's all cut and dry.  The answers straight forward and simple.  I wish I could show her.  I wish I could guard her.  Oh well, she'll find out someday what it's really like out there. 

I've had to share my story a couple times in the past few days.  It's weird to go back there.  I feel like such a different person.  I shake my head because I can't believe that I felt so trapped.  Trapped by the stereo types and ideas that held me capture.  I feel ashamed and even though some sort of justice was served I feel dissatisfied with the outcome as if something more should have been done.  He walked away with no apology given, still thinking he was right.  I just hope he meets his match one day.  I guess that's the human side of me seeking some sort of revenge. 

Letting go.... moving on.... learning... wishing. 

Actions speak louder than words.