Tuesday, January 12, 2010

gasping for air

I can't breathe.  For some reason I'm sitting here literally gasping for air.  Alone, I'm sitting in silence hearing nothing but the wheels turn in my head.  I want to cry.  I want to laugh.  I don't know where to go, who to talk to, what to say, or where to even be.

I feel like I've lost you.  I feel so distant. Like you've attempted to push me out.  I don't really know how to be right now.  I want to hang on.  I'm not ready to let go or to give up.  This feeling of already loosing you is killing me and I can't seem to wrap my mind around what's going on or what needs to be changed.  I wish you would communicate more.  I wish you would just talk to me.  I wish you weren't a million miles away.... or at least I wish it didn't feel like you were.  I want to know if I am just suppose to walk away or even if that's what you want. 

Did you let go?

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