Friday, April 07, 2006

I cant believe that it's 2 in the morning and I just finished my paper and the first thing I do is write a blog...you think I would go to bed.....

I had a really weird experience today. Reesor was trying to do some "unique" teaching method in Gospels and he took us on a feild trip...WAIT...before you get excited....it was only around the school grounds...which I guess is still kinda more exciting then sitting in a class.....but he told us that we were going to go onto the roof. Now....before I go any further with my story...I am ok...and no I'm not suicidal....well..the my first thought after he said that was for me to throw myself off of the school roof. But it just didnt stop there....the thoughts were like all crazy demonic and stuff....like satan was telling me that killin myself infront of every body would be some sort of witness or somethin....I dont know...it was just really twisted.

Well obvisouly I made it back down.....safely....but ya....that was just the weirdest feelings in the world...cuz I know that if I woulda been on the roof at that moment I prolly woulda jumped off no questions asked.

I'm sleepy....but dont want to sleep....I feel broken....I dont even know if that's the word...I'm sooo unsure about EVERYTHING in my life right now...I mean I thought I was sure...but then I'm having second guesses. I feel stupid.....don't think I regret some of the stuff I said...but I am slightly embarassed....oh well....life will continue....unless I do jump off the school.....no really...I'm just kidding.....connie where's a llama when I need one?!?!?!?

2 comments:

Dawn said...

amen for the lama! hahahahahaahahaha.... sasha darling, you and i need to go do some therapeutic throwing of lama's! My heart connects with the unsureness part.... hang in there... only a coupple more weeks of school and God will take care of your heart! Be blessed! *holds hand out to sasha*

Sasha said...

*takes Dawn's hand and....sniffs some bleach?!?!* I love you my bleach sister....I saw you at your church today....I was gonna say Hi but we had to go....I just realized I told you that I loved you...don't tell Connie...she might get a wee bit jelouse...oh well *shrugs shoulders* guess she'll have to deal with my new found love....