Friday night I was reminded of God's power, of His mercy, of His everlasting and uncomprendable love, and of His grace. Last week I was battling inwardly with feelings of inadequacy, of not feeling prepared or called, of feeling weak and complacent, and I truthfully wanted to walk away from my position at the church because I felt as though I didn't belong, and that ultimately I wouldn't be able to do it. I was scared. We had a youth service friday night. The youth in my youth group have grown, and have seen and experenced the presence of God and are seeking for more. However Friday was odd. As I stood around I could see that they were worn out. They were going through things.....and as a leader I needed to be there to support them and strengthen them. We had an alter time, and I was going to go pray for a girl and God said to wait. So I stood there...not understanding until another girl came up and asked me to pray for her. It's such a privilage to have young ppl love and trust you enough to share what they are going through....I was touched.

A little while later I looked over and saw one of the guys that I used to hang out with and my heart broke. I missed that boy. He had fallen away from God and had lived a life after drugs, alcohol and sex and as I looked at him God began to change my heart. I have been praying for him for 4 years....and the fact that he was even in a worship service left me in complete awe. Something in my heart began to build and build.....and I began to pray for him....if he was there then I wasnt going to sit idly by and let him leave, so I prayed.....he stayed and another leader went over and gave him a word....and I saw a vulnerability in him that I havent seen in a long time. It was after a little bit when he started to motion to leave the service and I started crying. It wasnt like anything I have felt before....It was from deep deep within......I felt the love that God had for him.....and I didnt want to stand by and let him go....so as he walked out I prayed....like I've never prayed before.....and a little while later he came back in.....this might not sound like anything big to any of you....but the joy I felt when I saw his face....I cant even put it into words. After it was all done he asked me to go for a walk....so we talked....and he opened up about the things that he was going through.....and I glanced at his wrist and he was wearing a Jesus fish bracelet. We played pool...and we were able to just hang out and be the friends that we once were....I missed that.

He came to church this morning....and he's coming to youth camp this summer.....I cant even put what I'm feeling in my heart into words....I think that if I don't see anything else this summer...I will be happy with what happened that night. To see somebody come back into the Grace...and see God so clearly....it takes my breath away. I was reminded that I'm suppose to be here....and I am called....It's like Dr. Franklin says...sometimes all we have to hold onto is the fact that we have been called....regardless of how we are feeling....regardless of the circumstance, God knows...and has called each one to play a part in His will....and I'm sooo blessed to be able to say that I'm here to lead His sheep.....and that He trusts me with such a great responsibility.....I'm in awe....and so blessed.