Friday, September 08, 2006

to embrace or ignore do I have an option?

So I officially started my last year of college today. I've always hated the first day of classes..... meeting profs who are different and trying to figure out what they are expecting from you...it's annoying. I like the familiar....I like Guthrie...but he's not back this semester so I have to deal with what I got...it should be good....however I'm scared that PA's Senior Theo class is gonna stretch the crap outta me.....EEK! cuz we all know that I want more of that...

Um......so God has been asking me to obey Him more and more.....I feel like I can't do it....I feel like I'm gonna fall through.......I don't want to.....but...we'll see. So...only in an attempt to follow God and do what He is calling me to do I'm looking into going to Israel in Feb for 2 weeks. I'm not really sure why God wants me there..and it kinda actually scares the bloody crp outta me but I'm left with the choice to either obey or not....not the best situations at times. Sometimes I feel like God has backed me into a corner and I'm not too fond of it...but I really don't got a choice but to love who He's given me. I've found myself trying to avoid it these past few days...I knew that it would come to this...that the moment I'm seperated from all I've known this past summer I begin to look around and doubt what I've been given.....it breaks my heart to admit that....but I am just human....

Ok...so that's all I got so far.....I don't really know where I'm going or what I'm actually gonna do...I doubt myself and my abilities....all I needed was one word....one single word and I mighta stayed....but without it....I don't think I'm really left with a choice.

1 comment:

Dawn said...

Hey Sash! I love you, you CAN and WILL do it! You are much more stronger than you think you are! You do things that i couldn't even imagine doing! You roc my sox and are a woman of God whom i do admire! Be blessed this year with where God takes you!