I've decided that I dont want to ever be a legalistic Christian. Tonight I was able to appreciate the things that King's has taught me....I am able to love and accept ppl no matter what....regardless of the things that they do. Regardless of whether or not I have the same convictions....I dont ever want to judge those who have a different view point on what it means to be living on this road and journey in attempting to find Christ. All confessing Christians are on this same road....trying to find Jesus....some of us take slightly different paths...it doesnt mean that I'm better or worse then you...just different.

I also don't ever want to become sooo "holy" that I am no longer making an influence on the people around me. I dont want to become so set apart that real people are scared to hang out with me....I think that that is where Christians go wrong....we make the gospel sooooo irrelevant to the non Christians..that we become stumbling blocks. I know that this is a very grey area...but all I know is that I want to be able to reach the unsaved....Jesus spent time w/ the sinners....drinking wine and just hanging out....I think when we become sooo holy that even that is a hard task for us....we are missing the mark....can I take this one step further by saying that the church today looks like a bunch of pious Pharisees....sure they've got the law down. They look good on the outside...but it's their hearts that God is looking at...and it's their hearts that smell of rotting.

Isn't being real with people....and being ok to share ur struggles and burdens with people far greater then looking at our outward appearance??? Somebody said something tonight that hasn't really crossed my mind...but I saw the truth in it...they admitted feeling as though they were able to be real with non-Christians more then with that of Christians. How sad is it when we all have to look to the world to accept us because other Christians are too busy judging each other then to see the pain and heart ache behind each glance?

I guess why this whole situation is radiating in my heart so much is because God has been showing me how much of a Pharisee I in fact am. I can smell the stench within my own heart...so for me to judge you about yours is neither fair nor what I think the Bible is calling us to do. We are to love one another.....and if we only ever look at what's being shown on the outside..and judging every bloody action that we see we are never going to really truly see the heart of the other individual. Never....because we will be blinded by the differences....I dont know if any of this really makes sense...it's 3 AM....but ya....I'm really bothered...and really challenged....I want to be Jesus to people......and that means sinking down...getting off my pedestal...and being real, open, honest and accepting....because in the end....we're all a bunch of stupid sheep trying to find our way....sure some look like they have it all together...and others fall a little behind in the flock...but we all follow one Shepherd...and that's the most important thing.