As I sit...praying... seeking His face....I'm tormented by the things of my past. All the psychology in the world can't get me to let go... to move on... to heal. It's funny how I tend to bottle things up.... I have 22 yrs of hidden emotion... stuff I haven't even discovered. There's still a little girl in there....waiting for her dad.... there's the broken, suicidal teen age girl.... there's the new found Christian trying to find her way as she's rejected by her family and friends... and then... there's me. So much pain in there.... it's funny how four little words can trigger it all......

I'm not quit sure what I'm feeling or where I'm going with any of this. It's funny...am I just not hearing God's voice??? Am I wrong?? I donno... all I know is that I feel like throwing up... and feel like crawling into a hole.... anybody got ideas where I can find one....I'm not in the mood to dig.