I just dont want to be broken

I have an internal battle going on between heart and mind. The more I pray...the more I know...but the more I know...the more I'm scared. What if it's all just in my head. I hate trying to figure out what's me and what's God....like Dawn said neon signs would be great about...NOW.....but then her words echoe in my head...He wants us to have faith....faith....believing in the unknown...believing that He has it all already worked out and all we have to do is surrender. I don't want to be broken...I don't want to have to be humble and give up my stubborn will....most often I feel like I can't. I try...constantly...but I usually give and quickly take back. I know that it will all work out...and that He has a purpose....and that He has called me...know all I have to do is listen.....and obey.... simple...yet I think the most difficult task that I will ever be given